Curious about swinging in Ireland? You’re not alone. Whether you’re a couple exploring new experiences together, or a single person interested in consensual, open-minded connections, swinging has quietly grown into a vibrant part of Ireland’s adult scene.
This fully comprehensive guide to swinging in Ireland aims to answer all the questions you’ve ever had about swinging (but were too afraid to ask!)
What is swinging?
Swinging typically involves couples and singles engaging in consensual sexual activity with others.
Variety is the spice of life, and swinging is no different! There are lots of different activities involved in swinging, ranging from flirty chat between two couples, all the way up to full-blown exhibitionist sex in a dungeon in front of eager admirers.
But let’s take it slow and go through some common swinging-related words and terminology. For the purposes of this guide, we’re speaking about a male/ female couple, but of course, there are plenty of other dynamics that exist.
Swinging glossary
👫 General terms
Some of the most common terms you’ll come across in the swinging lifestyle
- Bull: A confident, often dominant man who plays with a woman (often in a hotwife or cuckold dynamic).
- Closed group play: Playing only within a selected, pre-agreed group.
- Cuckold/ cuck: A man who enjoys watching his partner with another man, often with an element of humiliation or power play.
- Full swap: Full sexual intercourse with someone outside of your primary relationship.
- Hotwife: A wife who sleeps with other men with her partner’s consent, often with him watching.
- Open play: Free to play with anyone in the setting (with consent), rather than within a pre-agreed group.
- Pampas grass/ pineapples: It might be an urban myth, but there is a perception of pampas grass as a way of communicating to others that you were open to swinging. However, pineapples are now having their moment as a secret swinging symbol. Particularly upside-down pineapples!
- Play/ playing: Engaging in sexual activities with others in the swinging lifestyle.
- Soft swap: Engaging in sexual activities except penetration (e.g., kissing, oral, touching).
- Stag and vixen: A dynamic where the male (stag) enjoys or encourages his female partner (vixen) to play with others. Typically, the element of humiliation isn’t involved in this dynamic, and the enjoyment comes from the male partner ‘showing off’ his partner.
- The lifestyle: A discreet term referring to swinging and other non-monogamous relationship practices.
- Unicorn: A single, typically bisexual woman who is open to playing with couples; often seen as rare and highly sought-after in the swinging world.
- Vanilla: Someone outside the lifestyle who doesn’t engage in non-monogamous sexual activities. Alternatively, vanilla activities can refer to less kinky forms of sex
💬 Communication and etiquette
How people talk, set boundaries and discuss consent.
- Aftercare: Emotional support or reassurance after a play session, especially when it was intense or vulnerable.
- Agreeing boundaries: Talking through comfort levels, desires, and boundaries before playing. This can also include personal rules around condoms, STI testing and sexual health.
- “No means no”: This is the primary and most important swinging lifestyle rule: refusal or lack of interest in playing must be respected. Failing to abide by this rule in a swinging club will get you kicked out.
👀 Types of swinging meets
Different kinds of events or meetups in the swinging scene.
- Club night: A swingers club event (often themed) where people socialise and may play.
- Hotel takeover: A lifestyle event where an entire hotel is booked for themed parties and play.
- Munch: A casual, often public social meet-up for kinky folks. Usually non-sexual.
- Play party: A private, usually invite-only event where sexual play is likely.
- Private meet: A pre-arranged meetup typically between two sets of couples in a private setting.
- Social meet: A no-pressure meetup (typically over drinks) to meet and get to know others before potentially playing.
- Swinger’s club: A club set up for swinging events and parties. They usually charge an admission fee. They may have a licence to serve alcohol. Typically, they will have set rules that all attendees must follow
🛑 Boundaries and dynamics
Common preferences or roles
- Bi-play: Exploring or engaging in same-sex activities.
- Exhibitionist: Someone who enjoys being watched during sexual activity.
- Heteroflexible: Mostly straight, but open to limited same-sex interaction in specific scenarios, e.g. orally bi or situationally bi.
- Same-room play: Playing while in the same room as your partner or other couples.
- Separate-room play: Playing in different rooms than your partner.
- Voyeur: Someone who enjoys watching others during play.
Next, let’s explore some of the activities that make up swinging.
Swinging as a couple
Swinging as a couple often begins as a private fantasy. One partner might bring up the idea of group sex or introducing another partner in their dynamic. This might come from watching porn and sharing the fantasy.
Once both partners are interested in the idea of exploring beyond monogamy, some couples take the next step by setting up a profile on a trusted swinging website. One of the most popular websites for swinging in Ireland is FabSwingers.
It’s easy (and free) to set up a profile on this site. You can list your likes, dislikes and boundaries. This stage can be both thrilling and bonding, as you learn more about each other’s desires. You don’t need to share any face photos publically, so there’s no need to worry about privacy!
From there, chatting with other couples helps build trust and chemistry before making plans for a low-pressure social or meet.
These socials (typically just drinks or even over coffee) are a really great way to see if there’s a mutual attraction and a spark. If everyone feels comfortable and excited, some couples might agree to ‘play’ together.
You don’t need to play on the same date as the social. Many couples prefer to keep the social purely platonic so that there are no expectations and no pressure.
If everyone clicks and they’re happy to go to the next level, they may subsequently organise a private meet. This can include everything from soft swap to full swap, depending on what feels right.
For many, this experience of having sex with other people, while staying emotionally connected to their partner, becomes an empowering, trust-deepening part of their relationship.
Is there a swinging scene in Ireland?
Yes, there is! There is an active swinging scene in Ireland, even if it operates mostly in secret. One of the most popular websites for swinging is FabSwingers, and it’s got over 130,000 searches per month in Ireland. This shows that there is a huge amount of interest in the topic.
There are some clubs, but they tend to be concentrated in Dublin, Cork and Galway. It’s much more common to find online communities and invite-only parties in other areas.
In general, it’s probably fair to say that Ireland has typically had a history of sexual repression. Of course, there are exceptions, but by and large, we don’t have a culture of being open about sex.
Many Irish people find it enjoyable to engage in activities like swinging to explore their sexuality and to enjoy somewhat taboo activities. As long as it’s between enthusiastically consenting adults, this can only be a positive thing! Here at Irish Butt Plugs HQ, we strongly encourage everyone to do what feels right for them.
How to get started with swinging
Lots of people start with online communities or forums. These spaces allow you to chat, explore your boundaries, and get to know others before meeting up.
Others begin by attending private house parties or club events, often after chatting online first. These gatherings are usually vetted and invite-only, keeping things respectful and safe.
- Talk openly with your partner (if you have one). Discuss boundaries, expectations, and comfort zones.
- Start slow. You don’t have to dive headfirst in! Many people enjoy the social side and the flirty chat before anything sexual ever happens.
- Be discreet. Privacy is highly valued in the Irish swinging community.
- Respect everyone’s limits. A good swinging experience is always built on mutual respect.
Swinging in Ireland is more accessible than ever, especially for open-minded adults who value communication, fun and shared exploration. It’s a welcoming and respectful community for those who are curious.
Whether you’re just exploring the idea or already part of the scene, remember: there’s no “right” way to swing. Just explore at the pace you feel comfortable with.
If you’re curious about the world of swinging but not yet ready to dive in, you could start by ordering some toys and exploring pleasure by yourself or with a partner.
Some ideas include vibrators or dildos, clitoral suction toys or male masturbators. Whatever makes you feel sexy and happy, explore it without shame!
